Wednesday, September 4, 2013

the confessions of a cyber tryhard

i’m not going to lie, the cyberworld is really throwing my rules of tryhard and caajness into disarray and frankly, i’m just as confused as you are. i know that all you loyal readers look to me for advice on how to avoid looking like a tryhard and regard me as your caaj guru, but dearest readers, i must admit my limitations. i have not been able to figure out the rules of online caajness.

in my born-in-the-80s world, hashtags, check-ins, and constant photo sharing are seen as trying too hard. i mean why else would one check in at a cool, hip new restaurant other than to shout to the world – LOOK AT HOW COOL/SOCIAL/IN-THE-KNOW/VIP I AM!!!! if that’s not tryhard, then i don’t know what is. same with hashtags – the point of hashtags is to “subtly” say all the things to make yourself look cool that you can’t say without the pound sign in front. for example, a photo of a pair of nondescript shoes you’re wearing with an oversized shirt and torn jeans accompanied by a hashtag saying #manolos to let the world know those caaj non-logoed shoes are in fact designer afterall, so don’t think that just because you’re caajly dressed to resemble a hobo that you actually are a hobo. or a self-portrait where you make “sleepy eyes”, but otherwise look stunning and brilliantly-styled with a hashtag saying #sodeadtoday or #partiedtoohard is intended to show to the world how attractive, well-dressed, and cool you are. while most people born in the late 80s would admit that all of this aforementioned activity is extremely tryhard, especially on facebook, somehow all of this is A-OK on instagram where the rules of tryhardness just don’t seem to apply. anything flies on instagram. instagram is an alternate universe where being a tryhard is the norm – if you’re not a tryhard, then get off instagram.

so here it is – my grand admission. I AM AN INSTAGRAM TRYHARD – except such a thing does not seem to exist!! since the norm on instagram IS tryhard, does that in fact nullify my tryhardness? man, all these logic games are confusing me – THIS IS WHY I DIDN’T TAKE THE LSAT, PEOPLE!! yes, i am the girl who has posted a photo of my shoes with hashtag manolo. i am also the girl who has put locations on my photos telling people exactly which cool restaurant i am eating at. i am guilty of all this tryhard behavior you accuse me of. i know all of you are extremely disillusioned with me right now. you would have rather not known. you would have rather i had just kept it to myself. it was selfish of me to tell you – it was to ease my heavy heart but burden yours. i got to clear my conscience, but left you to pick up the pieces. NO, YOU’RE WRONG, YOU'RE TOTALLY WRONG – i told you because i CARE about you. i want you to know that IT’S OKAY. it’s okay if you’ve been acting like a tryhard on instagram – it is an alternate reality, IT DOESN’T COUNT!! as soon as you close your instagram app, you’re FREE - your tryhardness ends!! you are still the caaj queen that you know yourself to be, so don't be so hard on yourself. keep posting your photos, keep hashtagging. be free, my child. just keep the tryhardness to instagram. i can't help you if it spreads to facebook..

1 comment:

  1. "since the norm on instagram IS tryhard, does that in fact nullify my tryhardness?" --yes, exactly! thank you for putting this burning question into exact words. and you're still caaj to me, caajKim. your instastress and instaeffort do not threaten that, don't worry.

    xo,
    your fellow instatryhard and thus no longer a tryhard bc it's instagram after all

    ReplyDelete