croppity tops - resist the crop

you know what's really hard to act caaj in - a crop top.

every few years, things like crop tops come back into style, and it's a real problem. every average joe (or josephine rather) begins to think that showcasing her flabby little belly in a crop top is fashionable. just because gwyneth and miranda and rihanna do it DOES NOT mean that you, average joe(sephine), should do it. please trust me on this - after the five cupcakes you ate this weekend and the donut you may or may not have had this morning, do not even consider putting that cropped top on.

and beyond just who should or should not be wearing a crop top, a crop top is very difficult to look caaj in. you clearly think you've got a hot bod and you want to show it off in that crop top. the secret to caaj is to put on something that very surprisingly showcases one of your best features - like omg, this huge unattractive bag that i am wearing as a dress makes my legs look so skinny and long - OR - if i actually wear my boyfriend's jeans, my waist looks so tiny! a crop top is in no way a subtle showcasing of your best asset - it is more like wearing a big sign that says "HAAAYYY! look at how hot my flat stomach is!!" and we, at the styleruminative, are all about subtlety - never letting the observer know how much time, effort, or thought went into that look you "just threw on."

don't get me wrong - the crop top certainly looks cute - but caaj it is NOT. i have included some photos below to accomplish three objectives: (a) showcase the types of bodies that are allowed to wear crop tops (b) demonstrate that these people, despite being allowed to, still should not be wearing crop tops because they look like tryhards (gwyneth even looks kinda awkward if u ask me..) and (c) give myself motivation to go to the gym.

is caajkim maybe a little jealous of their physiques? perhaps, but who are you anyway, my therapist?!? let's just stick to the task at hand here and just take the advice. trust me on this - if u are not a celebrity, resist the crop.

editor's note - selena's take on the crop top styled with the high-waisted skirt below may hide many a flabby belly and only show the skinniest part of the torso, so i'd recommend this option for those of you who are insistent on donning a crop top - but please note, that she does not look caaj.

varsityCAAJ

so it's wednesday night. have enjoyed a wonderful day off here in milano. i must say a mid-week day off really makes the week so much more manageable. like yes, the mid-week day off doesn't really allow for travel plans, but it's like forced relaxation and sleep. you can't leave the city, so you might as well just take a really great long nap and watch 5 straight episodes of kourtney and kim take miami. isn't that how everyone spends a mid-week day off? wait, whaaa? you went to the gym? and you cooked a nice 3-course meal for your ten children?? and you re-painted all the walls in your house???? okay well nobody cares how productive you were on your day off. this is a fashion blog anyway..

so anyways - like i was saying...it's wednesday night, and what better way to wind down this wonderful vacay day than to read all the fan mail all you loyal readers send me everyday. wait, whaaa? there is no fan mail?? are you saying i made up the fan mail??? are you calling me a liar???? okay so there is no fan mail. BUT there is a new caaj obsession - the oversized varsity jacket cum bomber below. i have picsies!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE it in beige. i am actually kind of obsessed. i feel like you could really throw it on over anything and just look so caajly-styled. what makes it perfect is that it is oversized in just the right way - not so oversized that you are wearing your dad's jacket, but rather, oversized like you took it off a nice little petite man - unless your dad is a nice little petite man, in which case, steal all his clothes!!

i am not entirely sure though if i like it way better in beige just because it is styled better in the beige version with that kewl little backpack and those metallic shorts and kind of boringly in the black version...also the model looks less attractive in general in the black version of the jacket. oh man, i hope the black version doesn't bring out the ugly?? anyways, not my problem since i'm getting the beige one - but make your choice as you please, people!

alrighttt until next time, folks!

caaj turban?

So I know nothing screams "TRYHARD!!!!!!" like a girl wearing a turban for no reason (if there's a reason, then obvi, it's not tryhard - reasons can range anywhere from recent brain surgery to being an ay-rab so it flies).

However, despite at first seeming like the ultimate tryhard accessory, the turban has moved its way into caaj territory after going through a rigorous reevaluation process. Through a careful analysis, I have come to believe that since the turban is such a goofy look and clearly doesn't make anyone look prettier, it gets the clear. That's the other cardinal rule of caaj for those not in the know - one must never wear something that is intended to enhance her beauty. Beauty enhancement is just a welcome byproduct (an externality to use an Econ term - that's right, I have an MBA!)

Some cute caaj turbans below by a Milanese brand called MSGM. I'm really digging the floral. I cropped the models' heads in the below photos to zoom in on the turbans - is that creepy?

caaj hot weather

love this caaj summer look. she looks so comfy and like she just doesn't care - in short, she represents all that is NOT tryhard. A true caajinista.

now THIS is a cute pair of pantaloons, my friends..

just say no

I can get on board with a lot of things that I don't like. For example, sometimes I can force myself to eat 3 cupcakes instead of just 2. You see, I like 2 cupcakes, but 3 is not really my speed. I start to feel a little sick and my tummy starts to hurt a bit, so 2 cupcakes is definitely my sweet-spot but I am willing to push myself to 3 if needed. But alas, I digress. This is not a caaj food eating habits blog. This is a caaj style blog, dammit!! Focus, Kim. Stop thinking about those cupcakes...

So all this to say - I am open-minded and can get on board with a lot of things that I don't necessarily like. However, when caaj fashion goes into downright dowdy/hideous/ugly territory, I must put my little pedicured gianvito rossi'd foot down and say NO. NO, refinery29, this is NOT a good look for anyone - not on this poor lass, not on a super model, heck, not even on me! This is just downright UGGGGLY (pronounced "uggggggg-LEE"). Who is trying to push these weird ballooned pantaloons as chic?? Who is behind this unholy caaj mess and leading so many impressionable young girls astray, I ask??? Fret not, caaj Kim is here to tell you all that it's okay to just say NO.

Say NO to these pantaloons. Definitely say no to rolling these pantaloons. Say no to the crop top too. Especially say no to the crop top if you've been following the 2-a-day cupcake ritual outlined above. Omg there is just too much to say no to here. The high socks. The lipstick. The hair. Follow my advice - just say no to it all.

caaj icon adoration

oh sienna, why you gotta be so caaj cool?

a few current wantings..

some stuff i'm currently digging and thinking about...